blag or wyt…jara!!!

i just read the blog of my friend memet and i cant help but get teary-eyed…I MISS HOME!!!!it was a good thing during college coz i get to go home every sem break and holidays. but for now, im away from home for almost 11 months already and i miss a lot of stuff…

…i miss Bukidnon!the terrain, the climate, fresh air, fresh fruits and veggies…id really love to sing the official song of the province.."wherever i may roam the distant land to see, i long to go back soon to sweet Bukidnon home…"

…i miss my family!i miss my dinner conversations with nans;i even miss her nagging and rantings, the creek sessions with tats, the boxing-karate-bugbugan sessions with my bro…

…i miss my berks and friends!biking around the campus w/ macy and gya,laugh trips and "wala lang" moments with the gals and hi skul pals, pushing around baby mark’s stroller during early mornings and late afternoons, conversations w/ dd at the engineering shed, gulp sessions w/ Hardlife boys and other buloys in the campus, serious talks about life with tita momz…

…i miss baby mark who walks so fast already and is starting to learn new skills…i miss kuya kyle and id like to hear his stories and testimonial about being a prep pupil…my babies are growing up so fast!

…i miss my pets!onyok who’s really getting old and choychoy the ever KSP doggie…my madonna & child pet cats-pokwang and boni…i miss playing around with them..i even miss my "therapy" sessions with nepo the dog(may he rest in peace.ang nagpatay nya humanda lang!), those moments when i have nobody to talk to and nepo will just patiently listen to all my whinings w/o any comments!

…i miss the adventure and nature treks!i miss tatay’s bike, biking trips with the Hardlife boyz around the campus and anywhere we can think of going to, i miss climbing musuan peak and going to Pangantucan, id love to swim again in the very cold spring water pools of Edlimar, i even miss the murky Pulangui river…

I wanna go home…..Now nah!

why is it so hard to let go? why do we always have to face drastic and sudden changes in our lives? why do we have to let go of those who are so close to our hearts? how do we let go?…

this are the questions that ive been pondering on for weeks…my lachrymal glands are already dried-up…i cant concentrate on my job…im easily irritated…i started hating anybody that i see happy and carefree…i felt living is just a burden…i tried hiding in my shell again…it’s so easy to vent out my anger to the world but it takes so much effort even just to smile…why?what if? all of my thoughts already ends with a question mark…im brooding very negative thoughts…

i decided to revert to my old habit of "drinking myself to sleep"…it just so happened that when i was informing my bro about my drinking session at 6:30 AM i sent the message to my nans…just imagine my nans reaction! and my enlightenment started with that most welcome mistake…my nans was so calm and cool about my blunder and i cant help but spill my guts and my tears (again!)…her words of wisdom and comfort reassured me then…

change is the only thing that doesnt change in this world indeed…we cant do anything about that but we are equipped with the necessary defense mechanism to adapt and acclimatize to all thats happening around us…its up to us how we utilize it…

ive realized that its not easy groping around in the dark alone but i should just be thankful for all that ive met along the alleyway that shared their light once upon a time..im thankful for what theyve taught me about getting out of the maze and how they helped me stand up…and if there is darkness there is also time for light to overcome it…letting go is being happy for the other person..its a way of assuring them that what theyve left as a legacy will never be lost in you…its a way of showing them that what you shared before is not temporary…there maybe absence but an opportunity to be together even for a few minutes is already  a source of great joy…we cant hold hold on to everybody we meet along life’s journey..each and eveyone of us is trying to look for that Personal Legend and we dont have to bade farewell..it’s better to say "TILL WE MEET AGAIN"…we only have ourselves as our ultimate & permanent companion so why leave ourselves behind…go on with the journey…life is but a cycle!

P.S. for those who are letting go of a love churva this may appear contradictory on what u need to do…the basic principle still applies : the will to let go must start from one’s self..